Have been dead busy last couple of months.... but I think I should drop a quick note here after having a edifying discussion in church.
Today, in our Jia En Fellowship we had a discussion on what makes a successful marraige which is a follow up on the "Fireproof" movie that we screened last week. It was a lively fellowship with many throwing in their opinions.
Finally, the discussion leader summarizes the following Rules:
1. Expect differences
Each party brings in different up-bring, idealogy, understanding, expectations, etc... into a union. Know this, and learn to deal with these cordially.
2. Do not Restrict
Control and suspicion are the marriage killer. Since there is love and mutual agreement therefore both parties came into marriage, let love, trust and mutual respect overrule all matters.
3. Do not Neglect
Relationship like all living creature need to be nurtured and both parties need to put in time and efforts. Marriage is not the end of a union but the begining of a lifelong partnership.
4. Do not Sin
Immorality, gambling, drunkardness, dishornesty and all kind of social ills are stress points in a marriage and no party should be subjected to. It will no be fair to expect the other party to accept such violation of trust and love.
5. Wrong methods of Expression
Marriage is never a bed of roses. When dealing with our differences, consider carefully our resolution methods. Nagging, violence, vulgar language, temper, etc are not constructive methods.
6. Good Communication
This does not mean voicing out our own view and opinion only. The ability to LISTEN is more important and speaking.
7. Compromise
Acknowledging that we are all different is good but it is more important to reach a middle ground a mist our differences, there must be give and take to make a relationship work.
8. Compliment
When was the last time you said "I LOVE You" ? Tangible appreciation is important. Take her out for private dinner, buy her flowers, give him a massage and buy him a gadget. Be pragmatic, love and relationship does not live on air alone, it needed to be fed.
9. Be Considerate
Mutual respect and join decision making is important. In no circumstances that one party is allow to belittle another.
10. Be Christlike
This is the golden key to all marriages. Learn to be like Christ to love and honor each others. Be righteous and an examplary to all.
Amen.
April 19, 2009
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